Hannibal Rysing

The Dark Centurion-RYSES Son of drone

Have you ever wanted to travel back in time, back to a time of ancient philosophy, when military tactics were mightier than the pen. No? GOOD, you don't want typhoid do you?!!! If you do then go get Total BORE: Groan 2, you frakkin' NERD, what is this the history channel? we don't need your stinking historical accuracy here, you damn hippies!

We're all over this, what we need are pretty visuals and strictly linear game-play along with scripted events, turret segments.

 JUST LIKE MA USED TO MAKE!! 

  Pop it the oven, wait a good 2-3 hours and you're done. One flashy tech demo ready to serve for a single-player campaign, as well as a mediocre multi-player survival mode sprinkled with more helpings of pay to win!!

  In the 3^rd level you ,among other boats, land upon a beach where upon all your allies are shot, fired upon from the cosy fortifications further up the beach. Across the beach you can see people searching for their lost limbs while recovering from the disorientation caused by artillery. An epic scene only made better by the inclusion of the lead role of Bafta nominee Hom Tanks. Sven Squealborg did a number on this one, I tell you this film “Saving Private Rysan” will be a X-Baux office hit.

To fight the enemies (which consists of 7 people CTRL C + CTRL V through out the game) you will mash a varying flurry of light and heavy attacks, once the pain threshold of the enemy has been exceeded, you can perform a quick time event in-which Kratos Marius Titus will promptly execute the enemy in an extremely gory and brutal fashion. After which your space marine Marius Titties will receive a boost in health and fury or focus. This is not the only option though as you can switch between 2 other ones as well consisting of more exp and damage. Yes, there are Testudos in-game but that’s the most you're gonna get tactics wise, otherwise it's a simple case of: Oooh, Ooooooooh!!! Hit them,hit them, hit them with the pointy end!!! Yeah!!! Now smack your shield!!

The game world is pretty, it would be unfair to deny it that better looking than Skyrim (un-modded) and the lighting nothing shy of amazing. The sound assets are well done pretty well, the thuds of the arrows give them the appearance of having real impact. I am especially impressed with the jiggle physics on the barbarians pot bellies and man boobs as they really add another dimension to the whole feel of the game.

I have also noticed the lack of blood in game, which I find mildly irritating, I mean you've been hacking off peoples limbs and the puddles aren't worthy of a leaky pipe never mind an entire arm, what are these swords magic or something, gonna cauterise the wound for the big bad barbarian. I sure hope it doesn't get infected don't want him to go home in a coffin. I feel this may have been done to increase performance or maybe lower the age rating of the game. NOT THAT IT MATTERS, THE GAME IS ALREADY 18+, YOU'RE ALREADY CUTTING OFF PEOPLES LIMBS IT CAN'T GET MUCH WORSE.

 The character variation in the gooks is very lacking, as by the time you have finished this game you'll be able name, shame, describe and recite their war cries to a T.

 Do I like this game? Well it's not bad, it could be better but it's not bad. It's in that grey bland area of mediocrity amongst Calls-field #23: Duty of the shooting and Mine-craft clone #224. It is the Oblivion(Tom Cruise film) of the video game world (name withstanding), a frankenstein made up of the best parts of other games, without all the emotion.

  I don't think this game knows what it wants to be, I feel it wants to be cinematic but it doesn't have much personality, a very cookie cutter story. It is set in historical times but not enough research has gone into it to appeal to history nerds. It may possibly want to be appeal to dudebros but you're playing as freaking Romans, they have no interest in that, they only care about football and Call of Duty.

  Who wants to play as a dumb Roman when across the pond you can see Kratos ripping out Cyclops eyes, Dante volleying enemies with his absurd combos or even space marines tearing Orcs a new one for £8-£15, perhaps I've been spoiled by all these radical titles such as GoreofWar III or Warhammer 40k Space Marine.

 Ironically much like the Roman empire itself the game has spread itself too thin, with it not really specialising in anything. Don't buy it, at least not yet, to me it feels like an over-hyped launch game which was made solely for showing off the systems graphic potential. Save yourself £30 and get a different beat em up game.

BrillZone: ShadowDrawl

KillZone: ShadowFall

"Don't count your owls before they are delivered." - Albus Dumbledore

Kill-zone is a FPS franchise in which you play as a member of “ISA”* that fights against the Helghan administration, under the United Colonial Nations in an intergalactic war.

*Interplanetary Strategic Alliance

Well, the next generation of consoles here and they are now relying on their exclusives to bring in the customers. Up on Sony's bench is Kill-zone: Shadow-fall, can it deliver good game play and story while showing off the PS4's potential? Let's find out!!

How does it look?

The game looks fantastic, from the glowy space guns to the not so nazi nasty bad guys to the atmospheric scenery it is certainly a step in the right direction. The lighting is great, especially in the forest, with enough lens flare to bake Michael Bay.

The sound assets are very well done as they cover everything from the waves crashing on the rocks, to the transition of walking across forest onto stone.

This coupled with the visual effects make the game very immersive.

Game play

The game play of Kill-zone is one that could be considered a generic super soldier FPS although they have added a queer little companion known as the O.W.L. This “owl” will shield you, attack specified targets, stun enemies and create zip-lines for you to traverse the map with, a neat little addition although I never used it unless prompted to and to be honest, it felt less like a game-play component and more like a last minute tacked on side gimmick.

Is it fun?

Yes it is fun, as it lets you play pretend predator with the sonar scanner as you pick off each of the enemies from either a perch opposite the site or the floor below that you accessed through the vents, coupled with the competent A.I., fun times can and will be made .

But what about the story???

To be honest I couldn't pick up on the story at all throughout the time I played this game, perhaps it's because I hadn't played any of the prequels but the game doesn't seem to ease in newcomers to the franchise in my opinion.

Should I Buy?

I would wait a little while for the price to drop as at the moment it costs about £40-£50, that is if you are looking for a fun decent looking shoot 'em up. If you want realism look else
ware and if you want to get a good story out of it play its predecessors first.

Gourd of Ward Tres: Olympian Rhapsody

Olympian Rhapsody

Last of the franchise? or is that just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide. Another escape from poor Hades.
 Pick up your claws, look up-to the gods and see...
 I'm just a poor Spartan, I need no amnesty.
 Because it's easy kill, easy spree.
 Beat them up, QTE.
Anyway the series goes, doesn't really matter to me, to me.

 God of war 3 developed  by Sony Santa Monica, follows the story of revenge-driven Spartan Kratos carrying off from the end of the second game during the titans attempt at defeating the gods perched atop Olympus, it is your job as the crazy mythological monster lawnmower, to protect Gaia from Hades goons and later Posiedon as she scales the mountain at a snails pace.


 The game-play in GOW3 comes in three forms: 

1. The mook mashing - You come around dozens and dozens of weaklings for you to pound into dust with radical over the top combos, thus giving you the official status of bad ass.

2. Boss battles - What is that I see in the background? A tentacle? *whoosh* Suddenly you're fighting a Kraken aboard a ship for superiority, next second you've impaled it on the mast, god damn.

3. Puzzles - Now this isn't the most prominent part of the game, but it does make a good break for between all the mindless goon grinding action and the epicly brutal boss battles.

  God of War 3 did and still has astonishing visuals, that show of fantastic environments of an enormous scale. Much like the previous games it doesn't let up on the blood and gore, showing decapitation and dismemberment all throughout the game.

The sound is spot on, you come in a scrub you exit a GOD-DAMN CHAMPION!!! It makes for exceptionally brilliant boss fights as the orchestra wails in the back ground as you take a beating, just before grabbing their appendage and jamming it right into their heart!

 Is it fun?
     Damn right it is, as-long as you mind continuously fighting the goons along the way, you're in for a good time. If GOW3 was a burger goons would be the buns, puzzles would be the dressing and the boss battles would be the meaty core of the burger. A burger covered in lots of bloody ketchup and mature mustard.

Should you get it?
     If you've got a PS3, then yes! Get it (must be over 18+) as it is a good edition to any library of games you have for the PS3. It only costs about £10-£15 for about 8-10 hours of game-play, a deal in my eyes. I wouldn't however buy a PS3 just to play this game, it's not that good.

Quaker Oats III : ARENA

QUAKE III

When someone mentions to you the abbreviation "FPS" what do you think of? Perhaps Call of duty, Battlefield or Arma. If you said frames per second, you are indeed a stubborn ass. But what if I told you that there is another breed of FPS (not frames per second), where you didn't have to follow linear corridors, walking into scripted sequences time and time again?

Enter Quake 3, a fast paced multi-player first person shooter, released in 1999, done in the style of those old games of yonder. As you can tell by the "3" it is the third installation of the mentioned series. Thrilling, I know.  But this series was ID software's attempt at moving to greener pastures, as they thought multi-player was the most fun part of a game and decided to dump the single-player experience all together*.
 *Actually you can verse bots but there is no story mode to speak of.

 These FPS's had you sprawling all over the place at super-human speeds, dodging rockets and exchanging bullets as you went. Health re-gen? No, these were the times when you couldn't simply cry behind cover like big wuss you are, no you had to haul ass and pray to Mother Mary that somewhere within this god-forsaken place was a med pack to keep you going for another ten minutes.
 A rare species that may be slowly coming back with re-releases of older games on games distribution that are now available. As well as the remakes released such as shadow warrior and rise of the triad.

Now wait right there, I have three things to warn you about before you go gallivanting off wallet in hand.

 1. This game, much like your face, is pretty damn ugly even with mods you're going to have to play with a disregard for graphics or better yet blindfolded. The sound however isn't too bad as the music suits the semi technophilic maps, it is not my cup of tea but I'm sure it has it fans somewhere... amongst the other tone death buffoons that belong in the rancor pit.

2. It's old, I mean pretty old in technological terms, you're hardly gonna find any other humans playing online unless you wanna go against bots, which from my experience isn't that gratifying.

3. There are better alternatives. Like I mentioned earlier, many of these old FPS games are being re-made, this means that you can have the game-play and story of these games while having the fancy graphics and polish of current FPSs.(FPSs or FPS's or FPSes or FPSi? There's some food for thought, now eat up cause that's all you're getting.)

Conclusion: Is it fun? Yes.
                     Is it graphic-ly impressive? No.
                     Should I buy it? No.
                      Why? Because there are newer, better and more importantly cheaper games that do the essentially the same thing.

I don't use scores in my reviews, but when I do I make sure to give Quake 3 a 2/10.

Miroars Edge

Mirrors Edge

 Have you ever wanted to become a mail-(wo)man, delivering packages from point A and point B in the fastest way possible? Ever wanted to leap from building to building, while surviving improbable drops or follow red objects around the city that conveniently lead you to your destination? Then future postage simulator 2008 is just the game for you.

Plot & Game-play

 Run, run, float, fly, jump and run your way to victory as Faith Connors, a fully fledged post-woman, is ready to deliver documents hidden from the surveillance of the government. Call them big brother because they are watching your every move, rigging trials and killing civilians. A bit like V for Vendetta, but with less British people and masks, with instead more mail and cool tattoos. 

  In order to stop the government tightening their clammy hands from around the city any longer, Robert Pope decides to run for mayor but then he is killed. Turns out, faith's sister is framed for said murder and it is up to courier Connors to find out what the hell is going on and just who killed Pope.

 Game-play in courier service simulator 2008, centres around the free-running aspect where you can disarm+shoot/run away from the police and then you run away from the police helicopters all while doing sick tricks like hanging off ledges, sliding down slopes and not breaking your legs from 50 ft drops. 

 Like sonic sez, you gotta go fast when playing this game or your gonna have a bad time. As the main mechanic behind the free-running is momentum. Lose that moment and you'll be unable to disarm guards or make the impossible leaps of... Faith.

Graphics, Sound Track & Fun Factor

 The games graphics were pretty good for the time and do sort of still hold up now and the colour pallet, although lacking, reflect the OCD controlling nature of the governments hold surrounding the city. At least they used bright colours, I'm fed up of all the browns, blues and greys used in most first person games.

tl:dr Looks good, not many colours but the colours that are used are good.

 Mail-woman Mal's Dystopian Journey uses a soundtrack comprised of synths and beats that, like I said earlier reflect the setting of the game. It does feel a bit weird however, when you have that intense music playing  in the background while waiting in one of the elevators that break up the game-play. The sound effects for running change according to the surface and change quite smoothly. 

tl:dr Soundtrack suit setting and sound effects change in an appropriate manner.

  Is it fun? When you can play the game without losing too much momentum, plays out very nice with transactions from platform to platform becoming very fluid. When you haven't played it for a while or at all, starting off can be quite frustrating as you keep having to build momentum over and over when you make minor mistakes.

tl:dr As you get better you get the more fun it becomes, if you keep screwing up it will feel slow and clumsy.

Re-playability + Conclusion

How is the re-playability? The game is quite short and it doesn't have a very strong plot in my opinion, but good first person free-running hasn't been done in any other of the games that I know of(Looking at you Brink). Hmm.. well abiding by the Mirror's edge first law of fun-factor: Increasing skill=Increase in fun, means that is you keep coming back to this game and improving you will have a better experience.

tl:dr More playtime= Better player= More fun= More playtime.

In conclusion, I'd say that Post-woman Patty of totalitarian town is worth the purchase as you can get it for around about a fiver (pre-owned) for X-Box 360 and PS3. If you have a PC, like always, wait for steam sale as £15 is a bit much for the age of the game and if you don't like the idea of mouse and keyboard it is compatible with 360 controllers.

tl:dr Buy it for less than £10 if you can.

Spilt Sercond Verlercity

Split Second/Velocity

Split second velocity is a racing game, in which you can total enemy cars by ramming them or the games main attraction, sabotaging the race tack with set pieces such as collapsing building, plane crashes and exploding certain pieces. These environmental disasters also change the track significantly all within a couple seconds, so you're going to have to adapt quickly if you want win. The cars in-game all use automatic gear changes, a decidedly good decision considering all the action on screen would make it nigh on impossible.

The games graphics are really well done with most outstanding being the particle effects you see when you see the explosions or watch the buildings crumble away.

The game devs decided to use a small but sleek HUD that sits behind the car with it's width matching the car. This was a fantastic idea as the car is where you're eyes will be trained on for most of the time, it also means you can see more of the beautiful environment they worked on.

The music used in-game are those that have a quick tempo, that sets a tense atmosphere surrounding the races, although this music, by default, can be hard to hear over the screeching of cars around the bends. This is however viable for change in the options menu and purely subject to opinion.

The fun to be found in this game lies in the various different ways to play this game. This added with the (blue shell factor)* makes multi-player even more addictive, especially when you screw over your friends with an abrupt plane crash. Those who have started to get the hang of the games mechanics can expect awesome indirect vehicular warfare, with dastardly schemes to make use of the environmental changes to it's up-most potential.

*I have named this after the usage of the blue shell in the Mario kart games, the blue shell is an overpowered item that is given out to players who are low in place on the leader board. As a result, this 1^st place seeking, homing missile quickly changes the balance of the leader-board, that can result the people in last place coming in first. Also it is really annoying to be hit by, while a guilty pleasure to use, especially when you see the smug look twist into one of rage.

As for the re-playability, it lies within the ranking online and the achievements awarded in-game. Being at the top of the leader-boards or earning an achievement, results in having the rank/achievement decal placed on your car. Meaning that by the time the budding achievement hunter collects most, if not all of them, (s)he will have them plastered all over his car so (s)he can show them off to the world.

I highly recommend you buy this game if you are looking for some arcade racing as it only costs between 10 and 5 pounds. While providing an action packed yet unique racing experience, especially for playing with your friends. If you are looking for a racing game with more realism and manual gear changing you'd be better off looking elsewhere like Forza or the (GTR) Fiat GT Racing games.

Ecco the Derphin Review

Ecco the Dolphin

For Sega Genesis

The game for this weeks review is ,as you can read from the title, Ecco the dolphin. A game in which you play a dolphin, swimming around eating fish and exploring the ocean. Pretty simple right? WRONG!!! This isn't some wish wash story you could pull from a mad-lib oh, no.

Ecco goes on a journey to look for Big Blue, some old whale, 

who then tells him to look for an older geezer called the Asterite,

 so old in fact that he is the oldest living thing. 

  Turns out he is missing an orb, so Ecco heads to Atlantis to discover that everything was a part of an ALIEN HARVEST and in order to defeat them he's going have to TRAVEL BACK IN TIME.

He then defeats the Asterite, gains magical powers, returns to the present, goes back in time to the harvesting, uses said powers to destroy the alien queen and rescue his pod. A very interesting story which is a big contrast to the games simple look.

The music in the game is very atmospheric and

relaxing at times when travelling through the deep

blue sea. The sound effects however sound out of

place and some are rather annoying.

If your going to play this game, don't go in with the wrong mindset this may look like a kiddies game but damn is it hard and confusing at times. The in-game puzzles you can only really solve by experimenting, there is no hand-holding here, although when I think of it now it really does suit the lonely atmosphere of the game. There are hints, but they come in cryptic messages and if you're planning on solving the puzzles get ready to make many trips or your going to run out of air.

 Your character controls like an with squid with arthritis, so don't expect have much accuracy in your movements especially dashing as when avoiding obstacles as there's a high chance you will collide with  the wall.

At the time of release, the games graphics were pretty good, when compared to today’s standards however it's pretty obvious to see that the sprites would need touching up to before being released. Other things I'd like to see change would be the backgrounds as they are a little too busy for my liking and the text scrolling which is a little nauseating at least. 

I think the re-playability in this game lies in the absurdness of the story as you have to play the game through multiple times to truly understand how you got from diving out the ocean to travelling back in time to use your special sonar powers to defeat the alien queen.

All in all, Ecco the dolphin is a adventure through a bizarre plot filled with rewarding harsh puzzles and buggy controls. If you don't mind the controls and wish to play a game with a good story that actually requires thinking then buy the steam version instead , it's cheap at £1.99 and will make a good addition to your collection of games.

Werhammer Ferty-k: Sperce Marine Review

Warhammer 40k:

Space Marine

 Blood, guts, guns,cuts get ready to cut all the way through the spleen, cause this reviews about WARHAMMER 40K SPACE MARINE!

    Set in the Warhammer 40k universe, space marine has you defending the forge planet Graia, from incoming waves of pesky alien orks as you take control of Captain Titus as he attempts to beat back the overwhelming odds and hold key locations ready for reinforcements.

    Captain Titus is 2^nd company commander of the ultra marines, super human troopers, trained to be the best and clad in weighty power armour, wielding the most brutal of weapons you are a powerhouse and boy does it feel like it.

   

      Shots from your weapons explode once inside foes causing bursting blood fountains all over the place and once you get that chain-sword you are just begging to be thrown into the action only to leave caked in ork blood. 
  
   Is there a cover system? You ask, NO I say. I am not a baby, I think I can hide behind cover without being clamped onto it like a baby koala. No health packs either, if you're going to grab health you've gotta get in quick and dismember some orks but don't worry though finish off a stunned stray and you're health has already filled half-way.

  When entering the war-zone you are greeted by the drums of battle, explosion after explosion in the distant remind you that this isn't some small scale battle this is all out war. These explosions don't just occur in the distance though, oh no you can end up stumbling across on going off resulting in white noise which is a nice touch I find.

  During the cut-scenes background music appropriately sets the mood, giving dialogue more oomph than in other third-person shooters.

  The graphics are used in an exaggerated style, having disproportionate bodies some with giant heads others with giant torsos and so on. The actual graphic fidelity is well done, no excessively blurry textures that I have found so far.

 

  Now it's nice to know the assets aren't horrific but the question we are really interested in is, how fun is it? The answer to that readers is YES, GOD YES AND MORE YES. With slow motion decapitations, exploding alien skulls, rage mode debauchery you are in for one hell of a ride. In which convoluted universe is stomping around, smashing puny orks around in a giant suit of armour like a juggernaut not fun?

   The re-playability comes in the form of just being able to walk around wrecking people left, right and centre with an insight into a much larger universe full of strife and awesome.

So why don't you buy it now, right here, just click this>http://www.amazon.com/Warhammer-40-000-Marine-Xbox-360/dp/B003S2MXRA <

Don't worry we'll wait for you..... 

Done? Good. Looks like I'm not needed any-more does it. I'm off then, cheerio!